(Washington Insider Magazine)—Helping and supporting sex workers and the work that they do is now my speciality. Talking to so many différent people and knowing that every story is différent opens your eyes to something that can’t be viewed on an episode of CSI: Miami or Girls Gone Wild.
I already explained this in my previous article about why people need to stop demonizing sex work. One of the oldest professions deserves a little more respect. I’ve detailed why you need to treat these people with common courtesy and decency. Now I’m telling you how people can help them normalize into the rest of society.
Be nice, cordial and respectful
In any type of work, whether it be customer service, hospitality, or entertainment, it always helps to be friendly, cordial and respectful when talking to a sex worker and discussing prices for their services.
You wouldn’t be disrespectful to a plumber or a waiter. Don’t be so insolent to sex workers just because they are in an industry that you don’t fully understand.
Also, it’s someone’s daughter, niece, mother or sister you are speaking with. Please try to be as friendly and respectful initially in the beginning. If you come across a rude, entitled, and disrespectful sex worker, that is a différent story and not the type of person you need to spend your time or money on.
Buy your porn
One thing that many sex workers will tell me is that they want people to purchase their work and services. Don’t try to get a discount on certain things because you think you are a big-time celebrity. If you go to a restaurant, would you ask the waiter or chef for a discount on the food you wanted to buy without having a sufficient enough reason?
Stop trying to get over on the services rendered. If you can’t pay that, tell them before anything is agreed to and both of you can part ways in a peaceable manner. Just because someone is working in an industry that is not 100% protected, it doesn’t give you license to take advantage of them or try to get out of an agreement. These people work hard at making the content and providing the services that you enjoy. Try to put in the same amount of effort. You can buy stuff on clips4sale, onlyfans, manyvids or chaturbate.
Don’t judge so quickly.
When you are talking to someone and they explain that they are a sex worker, please don’t look at them with utter disgust and derision. Just because they are sex workers, it does not mean that they were abused beforehand, living on recruit difficulty or forced into it. If everything is legal and consensual, they do it because they like it.
Don’t always assume that a sex worker is out trying to ruin your marriage or steal away your spouse. Most people that have respect for the industry that they reside in won’t risk their career or livelihood to do something like that and hold themselves to a higher standard.
Ask your sex worker what they like
If you are talking with a courtesan or dominatrix, try to be more thoughtful and ask them what they want, as well. So many people in this industry are inundated with clients that only want a few things and think of their own needs and desires when seeing them. Most of these sex workers get tired of dealing with clients that only want them for a quick fix and then leave or log off when they get what they want.
That’s why many dommes and courtesans appreciate clients that ask them what they are interested in. It shows that you, as a client, care about their opinions and what turns them on. Moreover, it is important not to violate the boundaries of anyone involved.
Be prepared when you are asking for their services
When asking for a sex worker’s services, it is important to do your research on this person and the company that they have. Sex workers do not like clients that don’t know what they want or are unsure because it shows a lack of initiative and willingness to do the proper research.
It annoys any industry worker in any type of industry. This isn’t just related to sex work. Always look at the person’s website about what they offer and what they do not offer. It will save a lot of time and headache.
They are not fetish objects. They are human.
Something that people need to get accustomed to is the fact that these people in the adult industry are human beings. Treat them like human beings with feelings and do not want to be treated like fetish objects. Remember that the work that they do is still work and like any type of work, it can be mentally and emotionally exhausting.
Be cognisant of the fact that these people do what they do for a service. So, if you don’t see them for a long time, they may be on an extended vacation to heal from the burnout of their work. They won’t be in that head space 24/7. I’m certain that most people are not doing their job 24/7. It would kill them.
Attend sex conventions to learn more
If you want to get to know your local sex worker, attend conventions like XBIZ, Exxxotica, AVN, DomCon, FetishCON or YNOT. You would need to pay a fee, and you would also have to pay to take pictures with the people and get autographs to let you know in advance.
Wait until they finish setting up their station first before you start talking to them and when they are ready, listen and learn their perspectives.
Donate to SWOP or Pineapple Support
SWOP or Sex Workers Outreach Project works to provide rights for sex workers and mitigate any stigma around the industry. Pineapple support provides free or low-cost mental health support for sex workers in the industry.
Donating to these companies is a great way to combat the stigma surrounding sex work and shows that you care about the well-being of these people.
